Our little planes

We fly our little planes, filled with
Dreams, Stories, Feelings,
in the vast blue sky,
Clueless. Helpless. Mindless.

Sometimes, we chance upon thunderstorms, and
Sometimes, we see rainbows.
But we keep moving on.
Where to, though?
To meet another storm?
To see another rainbow?
To find another sky?

They say,
It's the journey, not the destination.
But what's the Journey,
If there's no Destination?

In our little planes, we sit, sometimes alone, sometimes with a co-pilot, sometimes with many co-pilots. Isn't it nice? To have a co-pilot while we wander through the overwhelming emptiness, while we attempt to make it through the seemingly crucial thunderstorms hoping to come out alive, while we see the rainbow and reach the pot of gold.

I'm sitting in my little plane, with all my co-pilots. It's funny how we are so close to each other, and yet I can't hear them. It's almost like they are not there. I wonder if they can hear me...

Suddenly, my plane started jerking back and forth. I grab for the controls, my mind racing and my heart thumping. Nothing's happening. I grab for another one, still Nothing.

I start to scream and shout, and as I flail my arms around for help, I feel the glass around me.

Happy.

So I haven't written for half a year, and honestly, if it wasn't for my friends reminding me, I probably would have just forgot about writing even...

Every year, I have a long list of New Year Resolutions, and sometimes, for reasons I have not yet deciphered, I would write "not exhaustive" at the end of the list, and as the world chants "3, 2, 1!" I would be sitting in my room, staring at my non-exhaustive list and ticking them off one by one. Even those resolutions that I didn't write down on paper, I would tick them off in my mind. And if I don't get all of them ticked, disappointment is just the beginning of a long long time of "why couldn't I do that?". And the cycle goes on.

This year, I sat there again, staring out into the dark night. It's quite unfortunate that in this megacity that we live in, starry nights are so rare, so far away, so unheard of. So I stared into the dark sky, lit up by artificial lights (street lamps and lights from all the households eagerly awaiting the turn of a new year), and thought about my resolutions this year.

I thought about how many people have come up to me and told me that I didn't have "a life", how I shouldn't be so uptight, and how I should relax. And they were right. I really don't have a life. Sad, but true.

And so I tore the blank piece of paper in front of me. I'm not going to have any resolutions this year.

And what I thought was a strike of genius and an initiative to change my life for the better shortly proved to be a desperate attempt of mine to try and convince myself that I do have a life, or at least that I'm gonna have a life this year. As I lay in bed that night, just 1h after I made my New Year Resolution: To have NO Resolutions, I tossed and turned and thought about how having no resolutions was so risky and how it seems so "I-don't-care". And everyday after that day, I thought about my having no resolutions. And I worried.

Clearly, my "No Resolutions Plan" has failed, but now, as the first month of my supposedly groundbreaking new year comes to a close, I have made up my mind. I will have New Year Resolutions this year. But just one will do.

This year, I'll be
Happy.

Recharged, Refreshed, Revilatised. ... Hopefully...

Right, the June holidays are over. I mean Really??? So school starts tomorrow... Hmm let's see how I feel about this...

I don't exactly know how i feel about this to be honest...

Elections, Council, School, CCA, Piano, and other stuff.. But I guess I really miss my teachers and friends. And I'm definitely glad to be able to see them soon. :) And I guess with such people, everything will be ok!!! (Hmmm let's test this hypothesis out for a day or two... )

To be honest, I actually don't know why I put this picture here... Just felt like it... :)

Egg-cited!!!

Ms Chua always says to count my blessings, and though today was not the best day of my life, I'll listen to Ms Chua and talk about the great stuff!!!

Global Classroom Programme yo!!! So super excited, though it's probably not the best time in the year to be going, since there's so much going on while we won't be here... But still, happy to be going!

I guess you'll never know what it'll turn out until it turns out... So we shall wait and see what miracles happen. :)

EGG-CITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (although the planning process is totally -_-)

Believing

You know believing is not easy, not easy at all... People tell you that you can do it, that you shouldn't be afraid of falling, or of trying, or of taking that leap of faith. But you know it's really not easy. How do you what you can believe in, or who you can believe in, and how to do so?

And though there are some people who say how they are not afraid of failure, I really not trust them 100%. How can somebody be not afraid of the fact that they are indeed risking everything that they have, and not being afraid of the result that they might just about lose everything that they've put in? I don't know, but if there's someone out there who can do that, I think they're incredibly brave.

But believing, that's really all that we have essentially, in this materialistic world, isn't it? Believing that things will get better, that we can do it, and that life is good.

 

Just writing...

To be honest, I'm just writing this because today when I casually told Shing that I haven't exactly updated in a long long time, she told me to just write about whatever I feel. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do, or at least try to do.

Now that the Mid-Year Examinations are over, half a year is over too. Can you believe it? Cuz I really can't!!! People always say time flies, but really, you never know how true it is until  you go through all the good and the bad, and stop for one moment in time and turn around. And there it is, right behind you, all the happiness and the pain.

And isn't it so scary yet so wonderful when you realise how much you've accomplished? And how much you've grown? KX was right when she said that she felt she was outdoing herself every day. And really, it's so true. I'm sure in the beginning of the year having one quiz a day was already rather frightening. Now we're juggling 4 quizzes a day and practicals and time trials and all sorts of other things in a matter of a few days and you know what? I'm really proud of all of us.

Though of course, I could have done better in all of the above, but really, who cares about how I did? That's not the point. The point is, that I've battled all of that and came out alive. Stronger and better, maybe even... And if there's one thing that I could confidently point out as my highlight of the past half a year, really, it would be that I've learnt to see what's really important, what's the real point of doing things. And I'm completely grateful to those (especially Ms Chua <3) who have took the problem away from my face to let me see so much more of the world. (Thanks KX for the slaps in my face... XD)

And I don't know how the other half of the year will turn out, but you know what? I'm not scared, for once, and actually I'm kinda excited. It won't be easy, definitely (I mean come on, since when was life easy???), but I know we'll all get through it!!! So that's a hopeful beginning, and let's hope that I'll still have a hopeful ending. :)

"You can't be so negative"

Well I guess that's right... Especially since the world is ALREADY negative enough.

Bring in some positive energy!

Well I would love to, actually, but honestly, I can't. Not now at least... And I ACTUALLY know why...