My fragile bubble, and the things in it.

I'm just sitting here, at my table, staring into the night. I just read Fla's poems, and they were so deep, so artistic, so beautiful. I don't know, but I feel really tired. Physically and mentally. The poems were so beautiful, yet so troubling, talking about issues like forgotten corners and death.

And so I took a break, never thinking that I would write this post... But thinking back, on the 1.5 or so years that we have been together as a class. Then it just dawned on me that this fund fair, it may be one of the last projects that we ever get to do as a class. You see, we only have Teachers' Day, Founders' Day, and Drama Fest left.

Thinking about it, it's gonna end in a flash. Funny though, it's always times like this, when I'm thinking about things like this, that I get scared.

I don't know why I'm scared, but I know for certain WHAT I'm scared of.

I'm scared of losing you awesome people. The people who laughed with me, made me laugh, cried with me, made me cry. The people who I made laugh, who I made cry. The people who basically made the skeleton, the flesh, the clothing, the accessories, the everything of my life for this almost 2 years. 

I'm scared of losing the precious memories that we had together. The times when we sang crazy songs in class, the times when we broke out into laughter randomly, the times when we worked together to prank out teachers, the times when we... Looking back, I can't pick one moment when I want to remember forever, simply because I want to remember EVERYTHING forever. 

I'm scared of losing myself. Losing who I am, after we separate into our different ways to accomplish more of our greatest dreams, and to challenge more of our limits. You know, I've changed so much since getting to know you people, and I realise, it's not me that changed, it's the change in the people around me that changed me. 

You know, people always say, it takes a lifetime to forget someone... But you know what, a lifetime is a pretty long time, but it's still not enough time for me to forget any one of you. Because for you, any one of you, even eternity is a split second as compared to how much more time I want to spend with y'all. It's just too difficult. Painstakingly difficult. To even grasp the idea that I'll be separating from these awesome people who gave me so much to remember.

I don't want to think about this anymore. I know it's self-deceiving, but I just want it to stay this way. I know sometime soon, the time will come. For us to say our goodbyes and take our photos. For us to go after our bigger dreams and greater aspirations. For us to find our brighter future and even happier days. But till then, I don't want to think about this. Till then, perhaps I will have enough courage to tell y'all even more. So much more. About how I love you. How I admire you. How I treasure you. Every one of you. Cuz as of now, I want to just live in my fragile bubble. And never come out till it's time.