So things changed, people changed, everything changed. And through the years, so many things happened. Teachers, Friends, Exams, Stress, Homework, Co-Curricular Activities, Piano, Leadership Roles, Punishments, Compliments, Rewards...
And I remember when we were choosing whether or not to continue Higher Chinese. And we talked for a long long time. You said you were scared. Scared of failing again and again, just like every single HCL paper you ever took in your life. You said you weren't meant to do Chinese at all. And what's more painful, is that every time you fail, you fail by 1 mark. You're always so close, so close...
And I said I don't do well in Science, and I don't like the subject, but I still work hard for it. (cuz it's a compulsory subject -_-... Actually I work even harder for science than any other subject, just because I know that I am weak, and I need and must catch up.) And then you said, we're different. You said I'm smart, you're not. I'm determined, you're not. I'm hard working, you're not. But I know you're lying. And I know that you yourself know that what just came out of your mouth was all false.
I remember every time before the Higher Chinese paper, you would joke with me, telling me that you would fail again. And that you don't care. But whenever you get back your results, you would cry. I always don't know what to do, and don't know what to say. Cuz I'm good at languages, and if I told you it was ok to fail, you would say that I don't understand, cuz I've never failed. And if I comforted you... I mean, come on... I don't even know how to... So I guess all that I could do was help you do your corrections while you buried your face in a flood of tears. And so every time our HCL papers came back, I would prepare myself to write really quickly, so that I can do your corrections, and mine. (I bet your parents are always wondering why your handwriting changed for the corrections... :P) And our teacher would always look at you, stare at you, and just keep staring. And before long, the whole class would be looking in our direction. Although your face was in your hands, I know that you could feel the stares. Your friends, the other boys, they failed too, and they really don't care. But you do. I know you want to pass, but you don't know how to...
Well so you asked me if I were you, would I or would I not continue Higher Chinese. I told you I would, and I thought you would say that that's because I don't know how it feels, but you didn't. Instead, you waited for my explanation. And I said,
Then you kept quiet, and I don't know what you were thinking then, but in the end, you chose to continue with Higher Chinese. And you joked, saying that if you failed again, I were to blame, but if you passed, even if it's just once, I would get all the credit. Well I just laughed it off.
Then I remember for our Preliminary Exam, the biggest exam before THE BIGGEST EXAM, you failed again. This time, by half a mark. Now, you were really sad. I mean sad isn't even the right word. I think you were frustrated, livid, crestfallen, depressed, and you felt like a loser... And so you cried again. And while the teacher was praising me for getting first in class, you were shaking next to me, covering your face, crying. I don't know why, but I felt so sorry and so guilty... Sorry that I did well and you didn't, guilty that I was being praised in your face while you "grieved"...
And so as usual, I did my corrections, and yours, and I think you were really upset cuz for the first time, you went to the toilet. Sitting next to you for all 6 years of my Primary School life, I've never seen you go to the toilet to cry, so I knew that this time, it was all over for you. And so you left, and my hands sprinted on the paper.
Then all of a sudden I spotted a marking error somehow, and got you 1 mark. So you eventually passed. :) I knew that when you saw the change in marks, you would jump for joy, but problem was, you didn't come back to class for the whole lesson... And so the teacher got a little worried and got another boy to go look for you. So you came back with puffed up eyes, red nose, wet face, basically looking pathetic.. :p
Then you saw your paper, and what happened afterwards was a whirlwind of comedies. You saw the paper. You looked at the name. You flipped through the pages. You smiled. You shouted. You jumped. The whole class turned around. People were thinking that you are a weirdo, I bet, crying one moment and laughing the other. The teacher was laughing. The class was laughing. You were laughing.
So I guess that was your "BIG MOMENT"... I mean you achieved your goal didn't you? :) So for the rest of the day you were so happy that it became extremely annoying. You kept asking me how I found the mistake, what did I say to the teacher, what the teacher did... And you even asked me if I could look at your past year papers, with MY corrections, to see if you deserved some more marks. -_-
You were happy, REALLY happy, and I guess I was happy for you too...
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