I used to think that life was happy, sweet, and incredibly rewarding. Well now I just keep asking myself why in the world was I even made to be part of this mess. Maybe to stir up even more trouble in this already screwed up world...
Well I think it's this period, where everything that could cost you "your life" is happening to you. Right now. In this moment. People always say, it's ok to fail. I don't know, but do they really mean it? Is it really ok? If it is, then why do we have to do re-test after re-test if we really fail? If it's really ok, why do people reprimand us for not doing well? If it's really ok, then why do we need exceptional results to get into the "best universities"? Why then, did we have this idea of "banding" in the first place, if failing was ok?
I don't know, I just think that those people who tell you it's ok to fail, it's ok to not do well, maybe they think it's ok, cuz it didn't happen to them...
Right now, I'm just disgusted at life. No, more specifically, disgusted at the revolting situation that I am in. One of mommy's friends asked me to describe examinations. And I said, they are "absolutely stressful, most likely unnecessary, incredibly disgusting, unimaginably revolting". Well I'm sorry for all the negative energy channeled here. But that's how I really feel right now...
There's 15 days to the revolting end-of-year examinations, and I just hope that I survive through all this crap and not give up. Cuz even though I feel that exams are disgusting, let's face reality, that's what we have to, and need to, do.
Now I just want someone to save me from this whole mess before I drop into the worlds beneath. But I'm afraid that someone can only be me. Me. And no one else...
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